Living with the Monks in Northern Thailand

I’ve been traveling for almost 5 months and most of the time it has been go, go, go, go from one place to the next. It’s fun and if you know me you know I thrive in this kind of momentum, (sometimes at a fault to my own) but I needed a rest. A real disconnect from “where to next?!?!”. My dear friend Ivan, who I met in India at my yoga teacher training, recommended this free, donation based, Buddhist Monastery just north of Pai, Thailand. About a 4 hour drive from Chiang Mai. You can stay up to 10 days and it’s centered around meditation practice. I couldn’t think of a better way to get some grounding and organize the messy filing cabinet that is my mind. This was also a good way to save some money on accommodation.

I rented a motorcycle from Chiang Mai for only 150 baht a day ($4). I asked for the cheapest one possible. They gave me a very loved (used) Honda Wave and this became my chariot for the next two weeks.

The route to Wat Tam Pa Wua is a winding road through the mountains of northern Thailand. There are 762 hairpin turns. It took me 6 hours to do the 4 hour trip but I loved every minute of it. Incredible views and alone time. Time to think and reflect …. and I may have a minor addiction to riding motorcycles since the Ha Giang Loop.

Wat Tam Pa Wua is located deep in the forest behind a massive mountain. The nearest accommodation outside of the monastery is two hours away in Pai. There is no pre-registration but there’s a strict rule that you cannot arrive after 4pm. I thought I timed it out well to get there before 4:00 but, as usual, I took my sweet time and made it there at 4:45. I was nervous to show up at a monastery unannounced and late but what was I going to do? Turn around and drive back through the mountains in the dark… to where?

So I arrived unfashionably late. I drove through the entrance and noticed how a) massive this place is and b) how breathtaking-ly beautiful it is. Green grass, yellow flowers scattered on the ground, gorgeous meditation halls and golden Buddha statues. I parked my bike and saw that there were many people out and about, separate and silent, sweeping leaves. They were wearing all white. Every single one of them. Mostly westerners with quite a few Thai people as well. It felt way too cult-ish for me. I was wearing a massive graphic t-shirt of an old man doing a kickflip on a skateboard and jeans that I accidentally ripped an inappropriate hole in. There was even a dead bug in my hair from the ride that I noticed later on. I took a deep breath and approached a few people to ask where to check in and they either ignored me or told me I was late. I found out later that this meditation retreat is an optional vipassana (multiple days of silence). Finally, I met someone to help me. A sweet Thai woman named Jan, who volunteers at the monastery every year. She gave me white clothes to wear and showed me to my hut. The hut was not so much of a hut but a giant wooden room. 50+ women will sleep here, on the floor. I was given a small mat and a blanket to sleep on. The purpose of sleeping on the floor is to sleep like the monks, who do this to give themselves a stable base for meditation.

I arrived in time for the evening chanting and meditation. Everyone sat in the meditation hall and that’s when I was able to see that there were at least a hundred people here to meditate. We were given English translation books and encouraged to follow along with the Buddhist practice of chanting/singing. This whole situation was a bit out of my comfort zone but I just went with it. After the chanting there is a very simple guided meditation. I couldn’t focus though. My mind was trying to figure out how the heck I ended up deep in this forest in Thailand with all of these strange and silent people wearing white.

I met Lea that night. An equally confused but really nice German girl. We figured out the rules and the schedule to this place and I was taken back by how restricted the women are compared to the men. Women have to sit in the back of the meditation hall behind the men, we have a separate dining line and cannot join the men’s line until they’ve all received their meal (even though their line is half the size of ours) and women are not allowed in the meditation caves. We can’t even talk to the monks one-on-one. It’s not up to me to make the regulations of the monastery, I’m here as a guest. Wat Tam Pa Wua is a traditional monastery. We know that “traditional” doesn’t always mean “right”. It’s centered around Buddhist customs that are centuries old, and like most ancient traditions… women are not viewed as equal to men. I’m not saying this is morally correct, but I decided to look past it and take what I can from this experience despite its limitations.

That night I actually slept alright, even though I was sharing a space with 50 strangers sleeping on the floor together. I woke up at 5:30 to attend the rice offering for the monks, which I thought was a really nice way to start the day. It’s a way of saying thank you and honoring the monks that have dedicated their lives to this practice.

We received our first meal (no meat, all soy) and then everyone joined for a walking meditation around the monastery. The walking meditations became my favorite. The purpose is to only think of your walking, step by step, and to walk as slowly as possible. It feels a little odd at first but after a few minutes I entered a really peaceful state of mind.

After the walking meditation we join back in the hall for a seated and a laying down meditation. I always fell asleep during the laying down one.

Then we receive lunch. There’s a nice gap in the day for free time. I liked to read, write or just sit in the grass at this time.

We have an afternoon meditation and the monks give an optional little talk where we can ask them questions. It was interesting to hear the monk’s perspective on modern day issues and I liked learning about why they decided to dedicate their life to this practice. Buddhism technically isn’t a religion, it’s more of a way to life. Yes, some people view it as a discipline (the monks) but broadly speaking it’s all about centering ourselves into “oneness”. Oneness with our lives, with ourselves, and with the universe. We’re not separate from nature on earth or the galaxies beyond it. Meditation brings us back to the simple truth that we’re all connected. For me, this practice has allowed me to accept the things that I have no control over - which is most of life actually.

Some of my favorite quotes from the monks:

“The world can learn a lot from listening to women”

“As monks, we cannot purchase anything. We can’t even touch money. Everything we have and eat is offered to us. Sometimes there is no food for us. This is a test to our strength and trust”

“Monks are the same as you. We’re all human”

“Life is short. Enjoy it. Stop being so hard on yourself and do whatever makes you happy.”

There are no meals served after noon. At first I thought this would be difficult but to my surprise I found it to be quite easy. I was able see how much food I actually need and learned that I don’t need to indulge in as much as I usually do. Taking it one step further, how much do we actually need of anything? There is so much excess waste in the world it was nice to bring it back to the basics.

Everyday at 4pm visitors are given an hour to clean up around the monastery and make it look nice. I took it upon myself to pick up all of the yellow flowers that dropped from the Golden Shower Trees and place them along the sidewalks.

For me, four days at Wat Pa Tam Wua was just enough. I’m not much of a strict schedule kind of girl and the restrictions for women rubbed me the wrong way. The forced silence also wasn’t good for me. On my second to last day I met an awesome group of people from all over the world and from then on we kept being shushed by the too-serious western volunteers (even the monks thought this was excessive), which we actually ended up bonding over. They reflected similar feelings about the monastery but we were all glad we gave it a few days. I can understand why people would want to stay here longer though. It actually wasn’t until after I left the monastery that I noticed its effect on my mind. The days to follow, even now as I write this post weeks later, I can feel the peace and greater connection to myself. That’s pretty cool.

Meditation isn’t easy and it looks different for each person. I spent four days meditating with monks in a monastery but nothing beats the bliss I feel when cursing through the trees on winding roads. The highlight of this experience was actually my departure. I put my ripped jeans back on, music in my ears, and rode my humble little motorcycle through a river of wind to Pai. This is my meditation. It reminded me of taking my dad’s old jeep through Grey Cloud Island in Minnesota. I felt just as free and at peace on these mountain roads in northern Thailand as I do back home on that dirt road that cuts through the corn fields. Maybe it’s that simple.